Chapter five

Red planet rave

As I was saying, Gav 6.2 has been sent to earth on a secret mission. Remember? That was the first can. We’re five cans in, so I can forgive you for forgetting. Let’s rewind and get some back story.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… no, kidding, please don’t sue us, Disney!

The red planet of Oonst has been at war for a thousand years. Not a war of weaponry, as such, but rather a war of words, and passive aggressive neighbourly behaviour. Let’s face it, words are weapons, especially a Mother In Law’s words. They cut. So deep.

On one side of Oonst, the one in constant daylight, live the Shushians, a peaceful race whose primary exports are noise-cancelling headphones and books on cures for tinnitus.

On the dark side, live the Muntoids who have been holding a rave for the last eon. Their president is a trance DJ. They are the noisy neighbours from hell.

The Shushians want an end to the rave, as their crockery keeps falling off the sideboard due to the deep bass
rumble from next door, so they have sent Gav 6.2 aka The Pale Alien on a quest to find the energy source of a noise-cancelling weapon known as ‘The Peacemaker.’

 Hot on Gav’s tail is a Muntoid warrior whose only goals in life are to stop Gav, find The Peacemaker, stay up late, and save the rave, so his people can continue to party on for another thousand years. But, being a total Muntoid, if he can achieve even one of these things, he’ll be quite stoked… like, he’s actually quite amazed he’s even on the mission. If he’s totally honest with himself, he doesn’t remember even agreeing to this. He really needs to lay off the Oonst dust.