Chapter One

PALE ALIEN (GAV 6.2)

Our story begins in space. You know space, that’s the big empty bit that makes up most of everything.

Out in space, racing through the vacuum, is a young xenomorph with a giant head named Gav. He’s been sent to earth on a mission that has taken him light years from his home - the planet of Oonst.

Gav 6.2 is a Pale Alien who loves heavy rock and light refreshments. He’s so busy rearranging his roadtrip playlist, that he doesn’t notice a big green and blue ball of dirt and water coming right at him. Gav’s about to reach Earth a lot faster and sooner than planned. He’s headed straight for the Motueka Swamp…

He’s looking for the seeds of Hopsonica, an ancient energy source to power a secret weapon capable of winning a galactic war… and some clever ancestor thought Nelson would be a good place to hide it. But they hid those seeds a thousand years ago, and the scenery’s changed a bit since then, not to mention the bloody property prices.

Gav’s spaceship starts coming apart entering the earth’s atmosphere. That’s what you get for accepting the lowest quote on the construction job, and so is already on fire as he enters the landing phase. The craft slams hard into the Motueka marshes. Gav barely escapes the flaming wreck with his life, and his alien body (already being crushed by earth’s gravity) is munted.

“I need to find a host body,’ he mutters in his native language, which sounds a bit like a cat’s tongue sliding up and down on the side of a water ballon. Like one of those farts that you were 100% sure you’d suppressed and it creeps out a crevice in your butt cheek… sort of “squuu eeee eee erp.”

This mission is not off to a great start. Gav needs that ship to get back home. But - right now, he has to find the seeds. The fate of his people depends on it. Luckily, the hopsonica detector on his belt has begun to vibrate. The seeds are nearby… and if Gav is honest with himself - the vibrations on his belt are quite nice, actually. They make his second bellybutton feel tingly.

He slaps himself across the face - hard. ‘Snap out of it, soldier!,’ he thinks as a heavy fog rolls in across the swampland. ‘I must find the seeeds… WHERE ARE THE SEEDS!’?’